“Lord, I’m tired of going around the same mountain.”

Have you ever prayed something like this? Not because you’re physically lost and circling the same mountain, but because your mind and heart keep returning to the same places.

You find yourself in the same mental and emotional spiral. You’ve made progress, then suddenly face the same issues that trigger the same emotional trap, internal dialogue, and thought cycles.

I felt this way when I wrote those words in my journal. Honestly, it wasn’t the first time.

Looking back through my journals, I see I’ve been praying variations of this prayer for a long time. Some entries describe similar situations, while others are different, but the feeling remains: exhaustion from repetitive thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions.

In an earlier journal entry, I wrote, “Lord, help me not to go around the same mountain as the Israelites.”

 

What I’ve Come to Understand About “The Wilderness” and the Israelites

 

The 40-year span from the Israelites’ escape from slavery in Egypt to their arrival in the Promised Land is often called their wanderings in the wilderness. For a long time, I pictured the Israelites wandering in circles—lost, stuck, and going nowhere. But I’ve learned it wasn’t forty years of aimless wandering.

According to Scripture, the Israelites reached Mount Sinai about three months after leaving Egypt and spent nearly a year there receiving God’s Law and becoming His covenant people. After a few months’ journey from there, they arrived at Kadesh-barnea, on the edge of the Promised Land (Canaan).

They sent spies to survey the land and its inhabitants, but after the report, fear took over, and the leaders refused to enter. They once again chose not to trust God’s sovereign power and refused to follow His command.

God then declared that the adult generation (except Joshua and Caleb) would die in the wilderness. So, for the next 38 years, they remained in that region, not aimlessly wandering because they were lost, but because they were waiting for the completion of God’s judgment.[i]

When you read about what the Israelites said and did during those years, you can see that their biggest issue wasn’t circling the same geography. It was returning to the same thought patterns and actions.

God kept leading them. God kept providing for them. God kept proving He was with them.

Yet when the next hard thing happened, they returned to fear, complaining, doubting His goodness, and questioning if He cared and had a purpose in leading them out of Egypt.[ii]

That’s what makes their wilderness journey resonate with me; not because my life looks like theirs, but because their behavioral patterns feel familiar.

 

What “Circling” Looks Like in My Life

 

When I say, “I keep going around the same mountains,” I don’t mean that every day looks the same on the outside. I mean, the inside can start repeating itself.

Sometimes it looks like worry. My mind fixates on a current situation, or worse, runs through every possible worst-case scenario. Then it looks like control. I try to manage outcomes so I won’t feel worried.

Other times, it looks like comparison. I measure my life against someone else’s and come away feeling inadequate and unhappy. Sometimes it looks like regret. I replay what I wish I’d done differently, which can make me feel unworthy. Sometimes it looks like doubt. I not only question my gifts or my calling, but worse, God’s faithfulness.

As hard as I try to avoid the same traps and patterns, like the Israelites, I find myself circling back.

 

“You’ve Been Here Long Enough”

 

But I have to remember that even in the Israelites’ lack of faith and disobedience, God didn’t abandon them.

The wilderness became both a discipline and training ground, a place where He taught them daily dependence, showed them who He was, and prepared them for what He had promised.

And when the time came, God told them:

“You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north.” (Deuteronomy 2:3 NASB)

In my heart, I feel like God is giving me a similar command. It’s as if I hear Him saying, “I know the places you keep circling. I know this pattern. I know how easy it is for you to keep returning to the same feelings and thoughts. But you’ve been here long enough, Tiffany. Let me lead you forward.”

 

A Blog Series About Mountain Circling

 

I don’t want to look up one day and realize I spent another decade, or worse, two decades, circling the same mountains, not because God wasn’t leading me elsewhere, but because I kept returning to the same place in my mind and heart.

Over the next few posts, I want to discuss a few “mountains” I keep circling, and maybe you do too.

This series will not be me pointing fingers (at myself or others) in condemnation. Returning to old fears and thought patterns is human. It’s what we do when we’re tired, uncertain, or hurting. But staying there too long begins to diminish our joy, erode our peace, and distract us from living in the freedom God wants for us.

As I write about these mountains, I hope to recognize when I fall back into old patterns and find ways to replace them with actions that strengthen my trust in God and move me forward in faith. And I’m praying God can use my words to help others who may be circling the same mountains and are ready to “turn north” with me.

Here are the mountains we’ll focus on:

• The Mountain of Worry
• The Mountain of Control
• The Mountain of Comparison
• The Mountain of Regret
• The Mountain of Doubt

I hope you will join me on this journey out of the wilderness to where God leads.

 

What’s the “mountain” you keep coming back to?

If you feel comfortable, share it in a comment. Or just name it to God today. You’re not alone.

 

If you want extra encouragement as you learn to trust God and move forward in faith, I’ve created a free resource for you: Persevering by Faith: 10 Devotions to Give Hope During Hard Times. You can download it by joining my newsletter below. As a subscriber, you’ll also receive occasional words of biblical encouragement, access to free resources when available, and life updates as I continue learning to persevere by faith, one day at a time.

 

Notes:

[i] See Exodus 19:1–6; Exodus 24: 3–8; Numbers 10:11–12; Numbers 13–14; Deuteronomy 1:19–40; 2:14–15; Hebrews 3:16–19 trace Israel’s arrival at Sinai, departure toward Kadesh-barnea, refusal to enter Canaan, and the thirty-eight-year judgment in the wilderness.

 

[ii] See Exodus 15:22–27; 16:1–12; 17:1–7; Numbers 11:1–6; 14:1–4; 20:2–13; 21:4–9. These passages show Israel repeatedly grumbling, fearing, doubting God’s care, and looking back toward Egypt, while God continued to lead, provide, test, and discipline them in the wilderness.