“Lord, I’m tired of going around the same mountain.”

Have you ever prayed something like this? Not because you’re physically lost and circling the same mountain, but because your mind and heart keep returning to the same places.

You find yourself in the same mental and emotional spiral. You’ve made progress, then suddenly face the same issues that trigger the same emotional trap, internal dialogue, and thought cycles.

I felt this way when I wrote those words in my journal. Honestly, it wasn’t the first time.

Looking back through my journals, I see I’ve been praying variations of this prayer for a long time. Some entries describe similar situations, while others are different, but the feeling remains: exhaustion from repetitive thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions.

In an earlier journal entry, I wrote, “Lord, help me not to go around the same mountain as the Israelites.”

What I’ve Come to Understand About “The Wilderness” and the Israelites

The 40-year span from the Israelites’ escape from slavery in Egypt to their arrival in the Promised Land is often called their wanderings in the wilderness. For a long time, I pictured the Israelites wandering in circles—lost, stuck, and going nowhere. But I’ve learned it wasn’t forty years of aimless wandering.

According to Scripture, the Israelites reached Mount Sinai about three months after leaving Egypt and spent nearly a year there receiving God’s Law and becoming His covenant people. After a few months’ journey from there, they arrived at Kadesh-barnea, on the edge of the Promised Land (Canaan).

They sent spies to survey the land and its inhabitants, but after the report, fear took over, and the leaders refused to enter. They once again chose not to trust God’s sovereign power and refused to follow His command.

God then declared that the adult generation (except Joshua and Caleb) would die in the wilderness. So, for the next 38 years, they remained in that region, not aimlessly wandering because they were lost, but because they were waiting for the completion of God’s judgment.[i]

When you read about what the Israelites said and did during those years, you can see that their biggest issue wasn’t circling the same geography. It was returning to the same thought patterns and actions.

God kept leading them. God kept providing for them. God kept proving He was with them.

Yet when the next hard thing happened, they returned to fear, complaining, doubting His goodness, and questioning if He cared and had a purpose in leading them out of Egypt.[ii]

That’s what makes their wilderness journey resonate with me; not because my life looks like theirs, but because their behavioral patterns feel familiar.

What “Circling” Looks Like in My Life

When I say, “I keep going around the same mountains,” I don’t mean that every day looks the same on the outside. I mean, the inside can start repeating itself.

Sometimes it looks like worry. My mind fixates on a current situation, or worse, runs through every possible worst-case scenario. Then it looks like control. I try to manage outcomes so I won’t feel worried.

Other times, it looks like comparison. I measure my life against someone else’s and come away feeling inadequate and unhappy. Sometimes it looks like regret. I replay what I wish I’d done differently, which can make me feel unworthy. Sometimes it looks like doubt. I not only question my gifts or my calling, but worse, God’s faithfulness.

As hard as I try to avoid the same traps and patterns, like the Israelites, I find myself circling back.

“You’ve Been Here Long Enough”

But I have to remember that even in the Israelites’ lack of faith and disobedience, God didn’t abandon them.

The wilderness became both a discipline and training ground, a place where He taught them daily dependence, showed them who He was, and prepared them for what He had promised.

And when the time came, God told them:

“You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north.” (Deuteronomy 2:3 NASB)

In my heart, I feel like God is giving me a similar command. It’s as if I hear Him saying, “I know the places you keep circling. I know this pattern. I know how easy it is for you to keep returning to the same feelings and thoughts. But you’ve been here long enough, Tiffany. Let me lead you forward.”

A Blog Series About Mountain Circling

I don’t want to look up one day and realize I spent another decade, or worse, two decades, circling the same mountains, not because God wasn’t leading me elsewhere, but because I kept returning to the same place in my mind and heart.

Over the next few posts, I want to discuss a few “mountains” I keep circling, and maybe you do too.

This series will not be me pointing fingers (at myself or others) in condemnation. Returning to old fears and thought patterns is human. It’s what we do when we’re tired, uncertain, or hurting. But staying there too long begins to diminish our joy, erode our peace, and distract us from living in the freedom God wants for us.

As I write about these mountains, I hope to recognize when I fall back into old patterns and find ways to replace them with actions that strengthen my trust in God and move me forward in faith. And I’m praying God can use my words to help others who may be circling the same mountains and are ready to “turn north” with me.

Here are the mountains we’ll focus on:

• The Mountain of Worry
• The Mountain of Control
• The Mountain of Comparison
• The Mountain of Regret
• The Mountain of Doubt

I hope you will join me on this journey out of the wilderness to where God leads.

What’s the “mountain” you keep coming back to?

If you feel comfortable, share it in a comment. Or just name it to God today. You’re not alone.

If you’d like extra encouragement as you learn to trust God and move forward in faith, I’ve created three free resources for the hard days: a 10-day devotional, 40 Scripture passages, and 12 Scripture-based prayers. Use the sign-up form at the very bottom of this page to receive all three.

Notes:

[i] See Exodus 19:1–6; Exodus 24: 3–8; Numbers 10:11–12; Numbers 13–14; Deuteronomy 1:19–40; 2:14–15; Hebrews 3:16–19 trace Israel’s arrival at Sinai, departure toward Kadesh-barnea, refusal to enter Canaan, and the thirty-eight-year judgment in the wilderness.

[ii] See Exodus 15:22–27; 16:1–12; 17:1–7; Numbers 11:1–6; 14:1–4; 20:2–13; 21:4–9. These passages show Israel repeatedly grumbling, fearing, doubting God’s care, and looking back toward Egypt, while God continued to lead, provide, test, and discipline them in the wilderness.

Has anyone ever asked you, “What is the most memorable Christmas gift you have received?”

Over the years, whenever someone asked me that question, I instantly knew the answer.

I still remember the special gift my mama gave me on Christmas when I was 11, even though it was decades ago. There is a story behind it, which is what truly makes the gift special, not the gift itself.

A few weeks before Christmas that year, my family and I visited a local place called Christmas City. It was filled with Christmas lights, scenes, and various activities for visitors to enjoy, along with several stores selling Christmas treasures.

I remember going into one store that sold handmade crafts. In one section, they displayed a beautiful carousel horse mounted on a large stand, making it look as if they had taken it from an actual carousel ride. The stand was painted gold, and the horse was black with gold ribbons and flowers on it.

I fell in love with it and told my mama I wished I had that.

So, she turned over the price tag, which read $300. My heart sank. I knew that was a lot for my family to spend on me for Christmas. I remember Mama putting her arm around my shoulders and apologizing, telling me it was just too much. I recall replying to her by repeating something I'd often heard her say when she came across something she thought was pretty but too expensive.

"It's pretty, Mama, but it's not that pretty," I said.

I didn't whine or complain about it. We just went on about the rest of the night, enjoying everything else.

Fast-forward a few weeks, on Christmas morning, as we opened all our gifts, I noticed a card on the Christmas tree addressed to me. When I opened it, it said:

Someone Is Waiting To See You On The Front Porch.

My only thought was that maybe it was my childhood friend who had moved away a few months before. So, I went and opened the front door, and there on the porch was a carousel horse.

It wasn’t the carousel horse I had seen and wanted at the Christmas village. This horse was about the same height as the other and sat on a gold stand, but it was cream-colored, with a saddle painted pink, blue, and gold, along with matching ribbons and small roses. It was beautiful, even more beautiful than the one I initially wanted. I could tell it was handmade, and then my mama told me she made it and shared the story of how she had created it.

She said a couple of days after we went to the Christmas village, she was at work taking out the trash—she worked in a school cafeteria—and she saw a broken flagpole in the garbage. It was like a flagpole stand used in classrooms, with the pole partly broken but the stand still attached. She was good at crafting, and she immediately envisioned using it to make a stand for a carousel horse if she could find a horse from an old bouncing toy.

She spread the word to everyone she knew to keep an eye out for one of those horses. She was about to give up hope, but one of my sister's friends was coming down the road and saw somebody had thrown out one of those bouncy rocking horses. Over the next few days, Mama worked secretly, making me that beautiful carousel horse.

It was a focal point of my bedroom for years, but as with most things, times changed. As I grew older and changed rooms, the horse no longer “matched,” and it went into storage. But I’m happy to say that one of my nephews recently took it out of storage to use in his little girl’s room. Her mama, who is also crafty, refurbished it. That means the gift lives on and, more importantly, the loving story behind it.

 From a Carousel Horse to a Cradle in Bethlehem

I’m sharing this not just to talk about my most memorable Christmas gift, but also because reflecting on the story of that special gift always makes me think more about the greatest gift of all that I—and all of God’s children—have received.

Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.
The King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
The Wise Counselor.
The Prince of Peace.
The Messiah.
The Good Shepherd.

No matter how many Christmas gifts we have ever unwrapped or will unwrap, they will never be more meaningful or worth more than the gift from God that Mary wrapped in swaddling cloths all those thousands of nights ago.

Jesus is the best gift we have ever and will ever receive. He's the greatest gift of love ever given.

The carousel horse is precious to me because of the love, creativity, and sacrifice that went into it. Mama saw something broken in the trash and envisioned something beautiful. She searched, waited, worked in secret, and gave me a gift that showed her heart.

In a far greater, holier, and more eternal way, God looked at our brokenness and did something far more amazing. He took what sin had shattered and sent His Son to make us new.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16, KJV)

So, my Christmas wish for you and me is that we remember Christmas is more than decorations, songs, and wrapped boxes under a beautifully lit tree. It is the greatest story of love, which led to the greatest sacrifice of love and the greatest gift of love: eternal life through Jesus Christ, which is available to us all to unwrap and hold dear.

Lord, I thank you for the greatest gift humanity has ever received—your Son, Jesus. Please help me to always remember how precious this gift is and to strive to live my life in honor of it, not only during the Christmas season but every day. Amen.

What about you? Do you have a Christmas gift that still stands out in your mind? And most of all, have you received the best gift of all—Jesus as your Savior? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

If you’re facing struggles that make it difficult to hold on to hope and see the wonder of God’s greatest gift, I’ve created three free resources to encourage you through the hard days: a 10-day devotional, 40 Scripture passages, and 12 Scripture-based prayers. Use the sign-up form at the very bottom of this page and you’ll receive an email giving you access to all three, free.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

I have days when gratitude comes easily, and others when I have to fight for it through tears and pain. When problems keep piling up, pain feels overwhelming, or I see no solution in sight, my view of God’s goodness gets blurred. Giving thanks to Him can seem impossible and feel like the last thing I want to do.

When Gratitude Feels Hard, Count Your Blessings (Past and Present)

On Thanksgiving Day 2005, I wrote the following in my journal:

Today is Thanksgiving, and I am very grateful and thankful. Most people look at me and wonder how I could possibly be so thankful. All they see are my hardships; they don't look beyond to see my blessings. Yes, my life is not easy. Do I wish things were different? Of course. But in spite of the difficulties, my life is good. I am surrounded by love, and all my needs are met. Who could ask for anything more? I am not thankful that I am hurt, but I am thankful that my life is complete despite my injury. As the Bible says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess 5:18) and, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever” (1 Chron 16:34). As long as I have God with me, life is blessed and therefore worth being thankful for.

I read those words now and think about all the additional heartaches, hardships, and struggles I've faced since writing that journal entry.

Still, I can read those words and say they ring true because, no matter what, God has been with me through all those times and has helped me persevere. He has seen me through each day, and that is a blessing that deserves my gratitude.

So, during difficult times now, when I can't feel God’s goodness, I need to remind myself of how He has blessed me in the past.

But I also need to focus on present blessings. For instance, even though I’m often in bed, I am at home in my bed rather than in a hospital or nursing facility, and on the days I can get up and sit outside, I get to enjoy the beauty of His creation. Also, despite the challenges of arranging for care, I continue to receive the care I need each day.

Those blessings, and many more, provide plenty of reasons to give thanks. They are glimpses of God’s goodness shining through the cracks of difficulty. They remind me that His presence is still near, working in ways beyond my understanding to bring about His perfect will for my life.

When Gratitude Feels Hard, Look to the Cross

In another of my prayer journal entries about five years ago, I wrote,

Lord God, I have to be honest that sometimes I find it really hard to be thankful. In the midst of pain and disappointments, my heart cries out in frustration. But I am thankful to You for all things. I am so thankful for all that You sacrificed for me and provided for me. Help me to always give You thanks and praise, no matter the circumstances, because You deserve it.

No matter what I am going through, I wholeheartedly agree with the last three words in my entry.

Even during my struggles to thank God in tough times, God still deserves my praise and gratitude because of Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross. He gave Himself as a ransom for my sins so that by believing in Him, I can have everlasting life. Because of that, I will thank God for the eternal peace and promises that await beyond this life.

Being Thankful Always

So, gratitude, then, isn’t about pretending we’re fine; it’s about remembering that He is faithful.
We may not always feel thankful, but we can choose to be grateful, trusting that God works even when we can’t see how.

On the hardest days, we can practice counting blessings, not because it makes the hardship disappear, but because it helps us remember we are not going through it alone. God is with us, working through us and around us to bless us as He wills. And above all, we can look to the Cross.

When we focus on those truths, peace and thankfulness return, not because our situation changes, but because our perspective shifts.

We’re choosing to see God’s hand in the middle of the mess and to trust that someday, when we stand in His presence, we’ll understand it all and give thanks forever.

Lord, thank You for loving me even when my heart feels weary and my gratitude feels small.
Help me count my blessings, thanking You for what You have done and what You are doing, even if I am not aware of it. And most of all, help me to always thank You for Jesus, who gave His life so I could one day live with You in perfect peace. Amen.

Do you struggle to be thankful to God during difficult times? What are some blessings that you can count to remind you of God’s faithfulness in the past and present?

Friend, I know how hard it can be to hold on to gratitude and hope when life feels heavy. That’s why I created three free resources for the hard days: a 10-day devotional, 40 Scripture passages, and 12 Scripture-based prayers to help you return to God’s Word and keep trusting him one day at a time. Use the sign-up form At the bottom of the page, and you’ll receive an email giving you access to all three, free.

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life. And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things?

Luke 12:25-26 (NLT)

As a preteen girl, I remember worrying about what my hair and outfit looked like when I got ready for school in the mornings.

One morning, I cried out in frustration when my hair wouldn’t cooperate the way I wanted.

Hearing my distress from the hallway, my dad stepped to the open bathroom doorway to see what was wrong. I replied with typical young angst about how my stupid hair would not do right. My dad assured me (or at least tried) that my hair looked good, but I put little trust in his assessment. Then, with compassionate understanding, yet years of wisdom in his eyes, he shared these simple but profound words: "Don't sweat the small stuff, baby."

Of course, I couldn’t appreciate the wisdom at that moment. It felt like the most catastrophic crisis imaginable. But that moment and those words have come back to me many times throughout my life, and the truth of his words has resonated.

There have been many times over the years when I faced obstacles and struggles, and I allowed anxiety, fear, and worry to take hold.

I often thought, "Okay, Tiff, what would Daddy say? Don't sweat the small stuff, baby."

In the grand scheme of things, considering all that life involves, what I was worrying about—just like that day with the failed hairstyling attempt—was minor. They were small issues that shouldn't have occupied so much of my time and energy.

Now, there have been other times in my life when I faced life-altering circumstances that made me feel hopeless and worried about how drastically they would affect my life if nothing changed. These were significant matters, not minor problems, and I couldn't shake the worry that settled within me.

Yet, during most of those times, God came through in miraculous ways that I never expected. He would take care of the situation, or if it didn't go away, it would at least become manageable in a way I could not fathom.

Just as with worrying over small matters, my worrying about the big issues accomplished nothing. In both cases, God was in control, working out all things and through all things to achieve his perfect will for me.

But don't we all fall into this trap? We allow our worries, both big and small, to take up residence in our minds, transforming situations into insurmountable obstacles.

Luke 12:25-26 cuts straight to the heart of our tendency to worry. Jesus, with His holy wisdom, points out a fundamental truth about worry—it's not just unproductive; it's powerless to change our circumstances.

God is the one and only one with the power to control our circumstances. He may work through us and others to bring about change, but he is the one in control.

In 1 Peter 5:7, he calls us to cast all our anxieties on him—not just the small ones and not just the big ones, but every single concern that weighs on our hearts. This isn't just a suggestion to stop worrying; it's an active invitation to transfer our burdens to the only One capable of handling them.

When we decide to trust God with our concerns, something amazing happens! We feel a sense of freedom that helps us embrace the present moment and let go of worries about what tomorrow might bring. Whether it’s a troublesome hair day or a big life change, knowing that God looks after every detail of our lives is comforting.

Jesus explains this truth in Matthew 6:26-30. He reminds us that if God takes such good care of the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, imagine how much more he treasures and will take care of us! This reminds us of our worth in God's eyes and his unwavering commitment to looking after every part of our lives.

Today, I want to challenge us—and I say us because I still fall into the worry trap easier than I like —to take a practical step toward trust. Instead of allowing worry to consume our mental and emotional energy, let's redirect that same intensity toward prayer and faith.

When worry creeps in, let's see it as a reminder to turn our thoughts toward God, transforming our worry into worship, as stated in Philippians 4:6. Only then will we experience a true peace that exceeds our greatest imaginings, as written in Philippians 4:7.

Remember, the God who orchestrates the seasons, maintains the delicate balance of nature, and knows the number of hairs on your head—even when they do not lie as we desire—cares for our well-being. He doesn't care just about the spiritual aspects of our lives; he cares about everything that affects his children.

Heavenly Father, we recognize our tendency to worry about both big and small things. Forgive us for the times we've let worry overshadow our trust in your perfect care. Please, Lord, help us to entrust our concerns to your capable hands and teach us to turn moments of worry into opportunities for prayer. Thank you for your patient love and constant care. Amen.

What specific worry are you holding onto that you need to entrust to God's loving care? How could your perspective shift if you saw this concern through the lens of his faithfulness?

If worry has been weighing on you, I’ve created three free resources to help you keep trusting God when life feels : a 10-day devotional, 40 Scripture passages, and 12 Scripture-based prayers. Sign up using the form at the very bottom of this page to receive all three.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Isaiah 43:2–3a (NLT)

Not again.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I don't know what to do.

These thoughts and others raced through my mind as I lay there once again faced with changing circumstances. I thought things were going relatively well, then wham — another issue to deal with.

You might think that, after all these years of living with a disability (quadriplegic), I would be used to all the changes, challenges, and obstacles. However, dealing with physical difficulties together with arranging care, financial hardships, losing loved ones, and conflicts in relationships has often felt overwhelming.

Let’s face it, life isn’t always easy, whether you have a disability or not. Difficult things happen. You have to deal with tough circumstances that can leave you feeling scared, alone, and hopeless. You cannot see your way through, and you feel overwhelmed by what is happening. Worry and fear take hold, and you desperately seek a way out.

I felt this way once again that day, lying in my bed, facing yet another difficult situation.

Yet, one thing was different this time. God had been showing me that by continuously sinking into worry and fear, giving in to despair, and frantically searching for a way to change my circumstances, I was sinning. I had not been living in full trust of him, trusting him to see me through all my difficulties.

So, that day, I quickly stopped my racing thoughts of despair and turned my thoughts to God. When I did, today’s key verses, which I had studied a few weeks earlier, immediately came to mind.

In this passage, God speaks to the Israelites through the prophet Isaiah. He lets them know that their journey back to the Promised Land after captivity would not be easy. He tells them they will go through difficult situations. But, he promises to be with them until the end. He promises he will not let them be destroyed.

God speaks the same thing to each of us today.

In life, there will be many times when the figurative rivers of difficulty and fire of oppression surround you and threaten to consume you. God does not say “if” they come, but “when” they come. Blessedly, he promises he will be there to guide you through the floodwaters and fires of life. If you trust in him and reach out for his guiding hand, he will lead you to the other side, safe and secure. You will have to go through them, but you will not be overcome by them.

Lord, when the rivers of difficulty and fire of oppression surround me, help me remember you are there with me, and all I need to do is to trust in you to see me through. Amen.

If you’re walking through deep waters and need reminders that God is with you, I’ve created three free resources to encourage you through the hard days: a 10-day devotional, 40 Scripture passages, and 12 Scripture-based prayers. Use the sign-up form at the very bottom of this page to receive all three.